Thinking about the time we share
And how I wasn't there
It hurt me
These people overwork me
Then I heard maybe soon you'll leave
Excuse me lord if you have tricks up your sleeve
I'm not ready to be bereaved
I know I'm always asking for something
Or another
But this time, it's just time ...

Yesterday I tied two rocks together
That symbolize our lives
And threw them in the ocean
Now they're on the ocean floor coastin'
'Til they stop rollin' so far
That no sonar would list them
To the point that no one would even believe that we existed
I know that may sound twisted
But my neglect is killin' me
I feel so guilty
Please have faith if you feel me

Though you're probably feelin' blue
And you'll do what you must do
I hope you know
I'd hand the skies to you
I'm so embarrassed for mankind
They have the nerve to let their weapon shine
They're so stupid
Do they not know you're about to fly high
Away

With the wings that God will give you someday
I'm not jealous
I just can't take it
S.O.S. to your ears, the only thing I ever feared was this day
And having to say

run to the sun. nerd.

It'll be one week tomorrow that I've been in Hong Kong and I'm loving it. I haven't had so little to do in so long and it is absolutely relaxing. A little boring at times, but when I remind myself how fuckin' busy I am normally, I enjoy my boredom to the max. Though I am slowly getting used to the fact that rain isn't going to solve the problem of humidity (in fact -- increases the wetness) and that I might not be seeing the sun much this next week, it is still thoroughly pleasant.

I think I'm in such a good mood mainly because my grandfather seems to be getting a bit better. The first night I saw him was his worst night apparently. I cried my heart out that evening and now he went from completely comatose, to sort of knowing that I'm there when I visit him. Today was his best day; he actually shook his head to tell me that he couldn't see my grandmother! That sounds horrible, but I'm glad that he could at least hear what we have to say. Sometimes, I scratch my brain trying to figure out what to say to my gramps. But I think at least he appreciates that I'm there. I love my grandfather so much.  I really hope he gets better soon.

For this reason of communication, I wish I could speak better Cantonese. Being here, I realize my Cantonese is crap and that 75% of the time, the words don't come. It's weird cause sometimes I know words in Japanese more than in Cantonese. I wonder if I stay here longer, would my communication get better? I feel sort of in a dichotomy position. Sort of a fucked position cause I am Chinese, should be able to speak Cantonese, can speak most of the language, but can't understand complex language. So, I can't even have a real educated conversation with somebody. Well, I am determined to be a) para para in nihongo in 2 nen gorai b) pick up Cantonese in 2 years. And of course, hopefully get the hell out of ubc in 2 years!

*

Anyway, its nice being with family. I love meeting them and just chillin' with them. Everyone looks like each other. All my aunts look the same and I see resemblances in myself and my brothers with my uncles. Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like if I grew in Hong Kong. What sort of person I would be? My cousin Chen Ho Ming looks exactly like my brother Phil. It's the weirdest shit ever. Not exactly like him, but the mannerisms. My auntie Judith looks like my mom and my auntie Christina looks like my auntie Peony. I don't even know if they all realize this, but I guess since I'm the outsider, I've got the freshest and best perspective.

Its weird, but I already have favourites. My favourite aunt is my auntie Christina. She's the most patient, caring person I have ever met. She carries all the shit for you when you are shopping, intuned to everyone's feelings and has a real empathetic view in life. So far, she's the most patient with my language disability and has been the best teacher in Cantonese aside from my grandmother. Also, she is interested in showing me all the coolest places, like where my mom grew up, or where my grandmother used to work. Useful shit u know? I also really like my cousin Jun Jun. He's the coolest kid ever. I can't wait when he becomes something really big. I have such huge aspirations for him..just the smartest, brightest kid I have ever met. I have hope for our future with kids like my cousin.

It has also been cool hearing stories about my family. Although my family's health history isn't the most impressive having all sorts of mental illnesses, diabetes and cancer, it's still good to know. Talking to my grandmother has been really informative because she connects me with the generation that I never spoke to. She never seemed to have a problem with me going to Japan so I finally asked her if she was angry (like my mom) with the Japanese people. I think my grandmother is one of the most unbias people in the world. Yet, she gives the most honest opinion. Frankly, and unemotionally, she replied, "your great-grandfather's store got bombed by the Japanese people, but that was a long time ago." I have yet to talk to my grandmother about that, her mind seems to be drifting lately due to my grandfather's illness right now.

*

So where have I been to in Hong Kong? Not many places. On Sunday, my mother and I went to Victoria Peak and the Botanical and Zoology Garden. It was really cool to hang out with my mother. For once, we haven't fought! I'm so happy about that. It's actually possible! Victoria Peak was really neat; we went up this 100 year old tram thing that was the steepest shit I've ever been on to go up a mountain. The mountain is at a 70 degree incline and most people hike it, but with my mom and this type of weather and at only 6 dollars for a return fare, it's pretty stupid not to take the infamous tram. Seeing Hong Kong Harbour at its height and grandeur was amazing. Check this shit out!

..and they're still building more buildings!

my mother chillin' out at the peak restaurant..where my daddy used to take her all the time :)

Yesterday, my auntie Chrisitina took me to Mong Kok which is my favorite district in Hong Kong. That place rules so much! We went down Fa Yuen St. which has the most deals ever. We didn't go to too many places, but the fact that that district was even introduced to me was quite important since I haven't picked up a tour book at all.

I've been wanting to get fake dvds so my aunts told me that Mong Kok would be a really good place to try to get some. I really want Miazaki's anime collection. Anyway, I think I finally experienced some shady parts of this world. (apparently, its more shady in the inner parts of China). I went to this mall that sold dvds for 100 HKD for 10 dvds, yet I still thought..hmm maybe that is expensive so I went to the next mall. Obviously the first place was really good, but hell, by the time I went back to this place, the cops had shut the place down already! Isn't that the most hilairious shit you have ever heard?! My aunts and uncles warned me not to go to the places that are shut down! Hahaha...like they shut down everyday by the cops and reopen every morning! I'm sure they've got somethign working hand-in-hand.

I also went to Lady's Market, which is a street that I don't really want to frequent anymore cause you can hardly look at anything at all. I wish I couldn't speak Chinese cause I keep getting stopped by people saying that I'm pretty and shoving shirts onto me. Then some people notice I am foreign and speak craptastic english to me. It was really quite an experience to have someone grabbing my arm and telling me "no looking, only buying, good price, only now, right now, buy now."

Well, more pictures of my famlay : ) more shopping tomorrow with Angela!! I can't believe she is in HK when I'm here!

my favourite auntie and her daughter denise. My cousin is actually 21, but she looks like a kid. cutest girl in the world..and for once, I've caught up to her height!!

My uncle keith's family. There's Jun Jun in the yellow shirt!

my mom and my grams!

Man, this is the life. I haven't been this relaxed for as long as I could remember. These times re-affirm that I do not ever want to be a workaholic and just do the chill life. Chloe and just about all my close friends know how crazy I get with work and just caught up with it. In her words, "don't gambaru too much and just see your family."

Well, I'll start off this post with: NEVER TAKE AIR INDIA.

Ok well, shit ass, I guess I am taking this flight back to Osaka by Air India, so I don't know. Aside from this airline having exceptional (well, as good as it gets anyway) food, this company should reconsider its customer service skills if they ever want more business again.

First of all, my flight was delayed two hours. That's okay, but after letting all its passengers on, we still had to wait for another hour before take off. Why don't you just tell us its gonna be delayed for three hours then?! I could have showered! Anyway, that's okay, shit happens and I got to sleep more. I don't know if I am just used to Japanese good service, but I just experienced service on the other end of the spectrum. I was actually woken up by the same lady three times. First was to ask if I wanted juice. Ok, well that wasn't so bad. But secondly, she woke me up to ask if I wanted coffee. Rudely, she asked, "Don't you want some coffee?!" by shaking me. If I freakin' wanted coffee, I don't think I would be sleeping!! Then the third time, she woke me up for my meal and I was so dishevelled by the fact that she actually asked me, "What do you want?" Uhh....more like, wtf do you want from me lady?? So I figured and asked her what she had and she actually said, "can't you read the menu?" HAHAHAHAHAHA. I should have said I was illiterate to make her feel bad.

Anyway, maybe I'm not ready to go see India yet. But even so, being in Hong Kong is a complete 180 from Kyoto. I can't believe how used I am to Japanese culture. Even my family thinks I am too polite! I've been inclined to say excuse me and sorry and thank you almost too much, and I've caught myself bowing a lot too. I wonder if Japanese people can turn that shit on and off, but I certainly can't. For some reason, I got offended when people told me to get out of the fuckin' way today. I mean ,that's what I've longed for; people to tell me what the hell they actually want.

Meeting my family

My Auntie 3.0 picked me up from the airport when Air India finally  decided to fly us in. The Hong Kong airport is really cool. It's really freakin' big!! I was so thankful that I understood what everything was saying and that in itself was difference from Japan. Meeting with my aunt was really easy. She looks exactly like my mother and the exact same mannerisms. I haven't seen someone so similar to my mother and it was just the oddest, but coolest thing ever.

The first thing I noticed about Hong Kong is that it is really freakin' hot. And it was raining so it was a very humid. I've never experienced such suffocating air before, but thankfully it wasn't as hot today. My grandmother, who I am staying with is really far from the airport so taking a taxi was sort of an ordeal. My aunt had preordered one, but it left and then like a whole bunch of taxi men were like, "where you going pretty lady? can i show you around? I'll drive you there." hahahahha Sometimes, I wish I didn't understand Cantonese. Like, comon, that'll make me wanna go into your cab!

We finally arrived my grams apartment at 9:00pm, and I think she's just the coolest woman out there. She let me sleep in until 1:00pm today!! I am so similar to her, it's not even funny. We like the same food, joke the same, figure each other the same. I'm gonna be like her when I grow old!  

*

I'm not sure if I came to Hong Kong the right time or not. I happen to be in town when my grandfather is really sick. He has tb and in the intensive care unit at the prince wales hospital. He's been in there for 9 days now and has been in somewhat of a vegetative  state. I visited him the first time today with my eldest uncle (only two people can visit at a time).  I was dreading this visit cause I really didn't know what to expect. And I really didn't expect what I saw. My eldest uncle is one of the bravest people I know and he was just checking out my grandfather. I don't even want to type what I saw, but I really couldn't handle it and just balled.

This visit has just made me re-evaluate my values. It makes me feel such regret that I haven't said or asked all the things that I wanted to say to my gramps. I missed him the last time he was in Toronto and I just wish I had saw him then. Or even came to Hong Kong sooner. Or..I dont know. I just pray that he gets better.

I'm glad I do get to see my family though. These times just makes everyone so much closer. They've made me a lot more calm and take life slower. I'm not sure if I need to really see all I can in Hong Kong. Relaxing has been long overdue for me and I'm just gonna eat well (hell yeah!! chinese food!!), sleep well (hahah on behalf of my grandmother who is muthafuckin' awesome), and shop well (whoohooO).

I'm afraid I've been writing less because I am taking for granted my time in Japan. I remember when even going out to eat was so special and my jaws would drop as I go shopping each time. Not that it has gotten less interesting, but I think I am really used to Japan now. You know how you feel relieved to be in your own bed when you come back from long journeys of either voyages or a long night of drinking? Well this is how I feel; my room in Japan is home. And there's only a little less than two months until I return to my country. It's going to be strange to have everyone understand what I am saying and for me to understand on the same level.

These past couple of weeks have been interesting. Can't exactly think of any specials places I've been to, except for places to drink and socialize. I've been partying out and I feel like I am burning my candles at two ends again. It's actually golden week which is really shitastic for anybody in the service industry. I've been working a lot and people are so god damn impatient that it makes it really hard to enjoy what you're doing. I think I have to reconsider my future careers and reinvest some time in a non-service setting. It's like kissing ass when you clearly don't like it.

But working hard has never stopped me from partying! We've been just either drinking at izakaiyas (japanese bars), all you can drink places and one club in osaka. Actually we even graced our presence at a gay club, but that was by accident. Not that I'm a homophobe but the novelty of being in a gay japanese bar wore off quickly. The only thing we need to improve on is knowing where to go and being more organized. We keep on walking on streets for at least an hour until we find some places and it just sucks when you're dressed up in dancing shoes. By the time you get to the dancing, you're feet need to rest from the getting there. I seriously thought we were on some pilgrimage each time we kept looking for new places to go to.  

Other than partying, I also got to go to the monthly market that they have in Kyoto at Kita-no-jingu or something. See what I mean, I'm even fuckin' up the names of the places I went to. Next thing you know, I'll be referring them as "some temple" or "that one shrine." Anyway, they have this monthly market and you're supposed to be able to get deals..which though I think I got ripped off, I still really like the kimono I got. The art of wearing a kimono is the hardest thing ever. Emily was helping me wear my kimono and it not only took more than an hour, it was also not worn properly. It turns out, it will take me at least two hours to learn how to do it. And if I'm smart enough. These words came from the famous Horiba manufacturer's wife who I happen to teach english to. She might teach me how to wear one for my next lesson. Oh double score : )

Well, other than that, I am happy to inform you that I am no longer going to teach English in China. I'm actually quite relieved. I was at first sort of hoping to go, but I think my head and heart wants to be back in Canada. But before that, I still have lots and lots of places to visit. In the next coming up weeks, I need to go to Nara, Hiroshima, Aichi and Tokyo again. Oh money, money, money..! Ooooh and I'm going to Hong Kong and China to visit my family.

Kimono! Kimono!!! I'm holding my hands like I do at the hotel!

Maaario, Emily, Arne, and Jeffery at Seagulls. MMMmmmm Cassis Orange.

Yup. The only thing coming between me and mario, besides his sexual preference, is a nomihodai drink. damn

.

Mina-san partying at the Izakaiya in Osaka. Jennifer (blond) and I were pounding back our drinks and I actually for once, out drank somebody in my life. I'm not proud, but that rarely happens!

I love sunrises.

I don't want to work

*sigh* this is what happens when you look at the calendar and you realize..shitty, I don't have much time left in my vacation. For the past few weeks I guess have been taking it really easy at work. Soon I will return to Service Express and though I love this department to pieces, I know that my body won't be as fond as this. Also, I'm quite worried about my Japanese; I suck at communicating still.

But anyway, lets talk about how awesome my week has been. For the first couple of days, I felt like I was "wasting" my vacation. I just sort of hung out with my friends here and didn't do much. Went to hanami a few times and then 100 Yen shop of course. It was nice to lead a somewhat normal life and see how my friends did exchange. They really don't study at all; I envy the  Japanese student on exchange life! I'm actually quite considering it since it's got a pretty good deal---24 credits for like half the work apparently. Probably not the best thing for my education, but regardless, if it's easier..why not. I'll look into that.

Anyway, between wednesday and friday (13-15) which is a really short time, I went to Sapporo, which is in Hokkaido..the north island of Japan. I was sort of pissed at my Japanese English teacher person that I help out cause she cancelled on me last minute on the 12 and I could have gone one day earlier. Oh well, good times were still had.

Sapporo 

I booked my trip through JTB, possibly the best tourist company in Japan. They book just about everything including your airplane ticket, all your necessary bus tickets and train tickets, as well as your accomodation and breakfast meals. It's crazy how much they covered. It was nice and simple. No complications. The lady even knew I wanted to go skiing and so she planned this whole day trip for me. I love good service, especially in Japan!

So I arrived Sapporo about 10AM on wednesday. It was a bitchass morning and it ended up being bitchass early each morning that I was vacationing. Being a diligent tourist is so hard! I can't believe how early you have to wake up just to make sure you see the place properly. Anyway, I wanted to take a nap but then I realized I couldn't even check-in to my hotel until 3pm. So I checked my luggage and went off to see Sapporo. It was sort of a bad omen already when the lady at the concierage was telling me, "Oh this is a bad season to visit Sapporo, it's too cold." Haa....

Turns out, she's sort of right. There is an amazing lack of people on the streets of Sapporo. The tour book, which for some reason I actually had with me, told me to go to all these different parks and that Sapporo was filled with gorgeous cool parks that is perfect to visit anytime of the year. Yeah, except for this shitty inbetween frozen kind of weather. The lake that I could go boating in was frozen and the plenty of meadows was covered in snow. I played in the snow a lot, until I got completely drenched since the snow is about 2 feet deep in some parts. It was pretty nuts. Here are some pictures of maruyama park...its like I'm in a different country all together!

This was the lake I was supposed to "boat" in. Hahahaa.a.....

Oddest thing was there was no body out here. Like maybe the odd person biking by but no one at all. I don't even know how they were biking!!

Well, I must say that for sure I definitely saw the most snow in the past few days than in the past five years. Though what I've been saying sort of depicts this dreadful trip in the cold, and sleepiness..it was quite the contrary. It was refreshing to see snow, especially since I never thought Japan had snow (ignorant canadian of course).

So on wednesday, before this park I went to Sapporo Brewery Factory. Good news is ladies and gentlemen, I have started drinking beer again. I can drink both Sapporo beer and Asahi beer and it goes down quite smoothly. I don't know what I will do when I get back to North America and this good shit will be harder to find all over the place, but definitely I am happy that this spell of non-beer drinking has stopped. Anyway, the factory was really cool...sort of small. But when you entered, you were just overwhelmed by this yeast smell. It was cool. mm beer.

Uuuhh..I think it says beer. Or something..there's a kanji there that says osake..so for sure it's something alcohol.

Sucks is the fact that everything was in japanese so I never knew what the hell they were talking about.

Going to museums were such a waste of money. The one that pissed me off the most and didn't even deserve any picture taking was the Muessin Museum or some crap. It was 1200 Yen for like a five minute awfulness. Well, maybe I just couldn't appreciate it, but honestly, who looks at porcelain? It was like this greatly esteemed museum that was talked about all over the city and when I went, it was such a money sucking hole. Then they were pressuring people to eat their cake on their fine porcelain. I wish I did do that so I could break one of their dishes 'by accident'. That would be the highlight of my visiting their museum. Plus, they had nothing in English.

The thing I noticed for sure is that every major city in Japan is pretty much the same. They've all got the typical train station. Surrounding the train station is a mall, where you can buy basically the same things, except for the region might sell different hello kitty goods, or different foods for omiyage (i.e. in Osaka, there was takoyaki and in Sapporo it's crab, etc). Then there are the arcades shopping areas. I swear, when I was walking down Sapporo Eki Mae st. I thought I was in Osaka. It was so strange. Its almost as if you go to one place in Japan, it doesn't really change in the next place. Makes you appreciate nature more because that you can never remake. A sunset will always be different and beautiful no matter where you go. It may get more breathtaking depending where you go, but it is certainly still very pretty.

What else..oh Yohei, who is from Hokkaido, told me NOT to go to the famous Clock Tower. At the time, I didn't even know it was famous. So, I went to the clocktower and was sorely disappointed. Cool to read up on Hokkaido history though. This was the only place that had lots of English explanation--more than I have ever seen in anywhere i have been in Japan. The funny thing was I couldn't tell between which was the clock tower. Check this out:

The TV Tower

For some reason, I thought this was the clock tower. Even tokyo has this effiel tower impression thing!

And this is the famous clock tower, symbol of a tourist attraction for Japan apparently. I don't know how this could be seeing as it doesn't really look all that Japanese.

Oh, the thing is, Hokkaido is known the be the place where gai-jin helped out to develop. So, this results in them having crazy, european architecture and a really good road system. Though it took me until the last day to figure out the road system, for the normal person who is good with directions, the way they laid out the roads are very similar to north americans and not fucked up like Kyoto has.

Later on wednesday, I ended up meeting Marika (maiya's best friend who i met very briefly when she was in Kyoto) and Cecil. At first, I was sort of not wanting to meet her because I hardly knew her, but I was so glad I did. Travelling alone is fun, but when there aren't many tourists around, especially none that are your age, it sort of sucks. Plus the language barrier is a kicker so seeing people I was somewhat familiar with helped. We just ended up chilling out at starbucks and decided to meet the next day for dinner and bowling :)

Thursday was mainly skiing up at Sapporo Kokusai Ski Mountain or something. According to Yohei, it's the best mountain near sapporo. It was really beautiful skiing against such beautiful mountains. The snow was really good too; very powdering and cushiony for when I fell on my ass. I met this American guy Jay and his girlfriend Yoko. They were really nice. But it was odd cause Jay was sort of hitting on me the whole time, and I was like..uhh 1) you're 35 and older 2) what about your girlfriend? He wanted to come bowling that night, and I took his number but yeah right buddy. Anyway, I had an awesome time and I think I want to do more of it when I go back home. Perhaps get better and fall less :) The green mountain here was definitely much harder than any ones I have encountered in the past. Jay and Yoko agreed too, so its quite accurate. At one point, I think the green mountain joins with the black and the red! I was like..oh so that's how you gradually ease yourself into more advance mountains? I thought I was gonna die!

Yay, more mountains!!

After skiing, I rested at the hotel and went to meet Marika and Cecil. I ended up buying a purse after many months of not buying a purse. Yeah! I totally deserve one! Not gonna mention the price or anything...

Hanging out with Marika and Cecil was awesome. We went to some restaurant called Chou Chou that specilized in gyozas. The people at the restaurant were really nice. We sat up at the bar because it was so busy and they kept chatting it up with us. We had a few beers there and then we advanced to go bowling. Though I lost badly in the game, it was still cool. It was just fun hanging out with people again (even though I wasn't travelling for that long, not talking for a good 8 or 9 hours is sort of tough). Note to self: when travelling alone for a long, long period of time, either make sure you plan your day really well or know the language of the country well enough to really chat up with the locals other than where something is.

Marika, me and Cecile! Whoo! I hope they come down to Kyoto to party some more! Or maybe in norway...

Anyway, the next day was another brutal early morning. I had to pack my shit to go home. Realized I packed too much and bought a little too much heavy things. So it was hard.. I decided to go to Otaru, which is a city east of Sapporo. Took forever to get to and it wasn't a good time cause it was raining and didn't look so good. Historically, it was one of the ports of Japan that received a lot of imported goods. They also have a lot of historical buildings as a result. Again, I don't know much about it because  most of the literature was written in Japanese. The really cool thing about Otaru was that it had a lot of historical buildings all around the city, many of which resembled old banks in Canada. Strange to see that in Japan!

The famous canal in Otaru.

Ok, then I ended up checking out the city hall. Cool place.

Too tired to post more now. must wake up semi- early tomorrow..to drink and have a picnic with friends

must practice japanese phrases